do grades matter?
This is a question that nuansy, Ticky and Dex keep repeating. Initially I thought that's because they secured jobs. Well, kinda, since nuans signed barcap compliance, dex signed citi ma, and Ticky most probably got his bnp client coverage.
But when I checked my financial market results, highest 37, median 32, I got 31. And yet I dun feel anything. Not disappointed, not relieved tho I studied for only 3 hrs given I dun go for lessons or revised before, not even theslightest reaction. That's when I concluded.
Maybe grades really dun matter.
Then again, not to dex and nuans, but Ticky, he says job finding is important. So I tot job finding is important. Got rejected by bnp, flow traders, dbs ma, most likely by boaml since I had my worst interview in that phone interview, rejected credit Suisse ib ops assessment center, didn't apply for hsbc and citi ma, rbs, while firms like ms and db have no replies, most likely no chance. Despite all these I remembered, I dun feel the anxiety. I still feel at peace.
Is it because I know that God will provide a way for me? I read the bible again, an start to commit to the Lord again. But is it because I don't wana work? Or is it just I wana escape from all these job searches?
I don't know. I don't even know what I want. What department, company, if I want pay, fame, prestige, challenge, security, whatever.
But I do know that I cannot take things for granted. Especially Tania. She always appear so frail and weak to me, such that I want to protect her very much. I once wrote an entry about being too short or long sighted. I dun wana be either. So, in these limited years of my walk of life with her. I just want to make sure we are happy. If being a hawker can make us happy, I will. If being a missionary will make us fulfilled and satisfied, I will.
I need to know my short, medium and long term goals. Also, I need to write down what I need and want.
Time seems to be running out, but again, does it matter?
