i'm not stressed over my studies, it is an under-statement

i'm so freaking lagging in every assignment now.. this sucks.

Econs - I'm lagging in econs no doubt. haven copy notes since prod n cost,that was my mid term topic. tut seems like i'm alwaes doing WHEN they are discussing already

MS - worse. totally dun uds.. the node thing, i think its lect 6.. i from there onwards lost liao.. lost in the woods, waiting to be devoured by the wolf aka tao hua..

Gen bio - not so bad, expected to lag, but guess wad? i haven even buy my txbk yet.. gdness gracious..

Mkt - didnt go for prdt, distribution n promotion1.. today went already at promotion 2 (promo tools) so dead. tut haven do yet.. need to do by tmr i think

Stats - what is t table? what is everything? haiz..

i'm so dead..

"getting to know you, getting to know all about you" this song keeps ringing in my mind..irritating..

anw.. wad is the world coming to? y muz the world be so competitive? for survival? for self-actualization? or simply for pride?

my frenz out there.. open up your eyes and see clearly who are indeed your frenz and who are not.. make sure its not too late when you the truth smack you rite in the face.. i hate it.

haiz.. anw.. i'm such a lousy project group member. wadeva you guys ask me to do, such as my mkt group and my stats group, i didnt do.. i feel so guilty.. i oso dunno why i cannot do.. probably every time i set the time to do sumthing will cropped up and i get damn pissed off.. or maybe its juz me.. the finger story.. (those who dunno plz ask me direcly)

but! i got the brains.. in mkt, the crazy recommendations, the evaluation, the direction i set for you guys.. what to do, how we gonna do it, who do wad, blah blah.. i did helped.. but mayb.. juz mayb.. its juz me, irresponsible.. am i even up to the job of being in all your project group? i'm very guilty..

stats project, i didnt do much survey oso.. but i provide my brains.. lyk how to do the stuffs subsequently and stuffs.. so will you guys forgive me..

becuz trust me.. these few weeks i haven been myself.. there IS a reason for it.. i juz cant say it out.. maybe sum of you guys know.. but yes, there is a reason for my abnormality..

not that i have been normal in the past tho..

anw.. i dun lyk to bitch about people.. but i like to bitch about bitches.. so.. if you think i;m a bitch, then go ahead and bitch about me.. but still.. it wun stop me, neither will you prevail, cuz i dun say things w/o proofs.

trust me.. damn.. tmr den blog,

i'm in a really foul mood now.

yup..

i had my haircut for 18 (-10 from the voucher, original 28)..

yay! there goes my christmas tree..

jiali dyed her hair dark brown.. became prettier..



dexter had his haircut too!



after that we still go the rochor road tau huay there.. nice!! haha..

oh.. today shogun outing cancelled.. attendance too poor.. why lydat.. everytime i see other og lyk shaman or spartide having og outing i very xian mu lor.. haiz.. maybe shogun is not as gd as i tot.. haiz.. wadeva la.. tot i might be able to wear my uniform today.. nvm.. wadeva..

rotted the whole day.. very glad.. very long nv rot for so long.. either sch, mugging for exam, bizad club meetings, project meetings, even gf (sound so bad, and i do enjoy my gf's company).. but today.. finally.. a day for myself..

but this bangalar juz haf to spoil it juz now.. call the first time wrong no already make me pu huey.. still keep calling.. ignoring him only increases my missed calls.. sumone.. plz teach him english.. maybe my pronunciation of wrong no is his hearing of a msg of "call me back again".. wadeva..

anw i love my gift! tmr i'm gonna buy my comics.. it has been so long since i laz bought..

and yes.. i'm playing my guitar again.. big distraction/big enjoyment.. thin line.. still, i feel happier..

still rem that time.. was thinking shd i drop out of nus and go laselle or nafa to pursue music.. but realize i have no background.. talented, i know myself.. everyone around me who knows about this side of me says it too.. but still.. i dun dare to enter.. cuz i know there are far more ppl who are more talented there.. plus very hard to survive.. checked out nus.. the music degree.. has so harsh requirements.. so now, here i m, stuck in business..

i've given up on my aspiration..i better be on dean's list. if not i realy dui bu qi zhi ji..

super long entry

juz realized the post ms khoo jiali posted up are up and i haven del it.. haha.. got sum explanation to do now.. we were studying together as usual in our group.. den i was on my blog page, she juz typed "i like to shit" and post it.. well.. so you guys know who like to shit huh? :)

anw jialiang, if you're reading this, TAG my board! dun discuss over my blog with me and pretend you're not here.. other ppl too.. was thinking gd, no one knows my blog's revived, den came to know more and more ppl actually knows.. haha.. well well.. wadeva~

anw, had a very very very hard week..

studies first-
ms is 45% for goodness sake, i cant bliff i screwed it up.. there goes my dean's list.. i'm really very very sad.. scarly get c.. i ans it at the 5 marks question when its supposed to be at the 20 marks, den i CANCEL the whole thing, then only managed to copy the defining of variables.. 25 MARKS out of 100.. i'm so dead.. i'm so sad.. stats, however, i studied so much less, if not no.. then i'm quite glad with it.. finished it in 40 mins when ppl cant finish.. if only the sudoku is at this side, den i can finish it.. but stats is only 20%! haiz.. wadeva.. i still haven get over ms.. i'm pissed.. very.

acad club-
juz saw this email saying wad the talks has been postponed to my academic week! wth! no way man.. yi hong juz tell me that talks can be on my acad week, nv say that the o week talks are postponed to my acad week. wah lao.. damn buey sui leh. wtf. there muz be sumthing wrong sumwhere, either yi hong side or ritchie side..
study trip to indo? wth? no way lor.. i wun tolerate that.. lydat where got ppl wana go.. but hor... actually if no one wana go better, then all frenz go, go for a frenzy shopping trip.
the corporate visits! wth! nx recess week! 5? oh no.. will ppl go? mid terms leh.. all 5 daes, finanace and marketing no prob.. but the others? well.. dunno lar..
kim eng! y out of nowhere one? ritchie juz tell me this super big company has actually a contract with us? and i have to arrange a competition..i dun mind cuz that was my idea all along.. but wad?!i hafta take into account it dun clash with other competitions? siao, lyk they dun keep popping out and i got the power to stop them lydat

worst of all
the graph has dipped.. a lil, a lot, i dunno, but it sure dipped.. i lost my confidence.. in you, in me, in us, in everyone.. in circumstances, in history, in the preset, in the future.. in love and sadness, in hate and madness.. i'm broken.. thoroughly..

will i be able to pick myself back up again? i tink so.. on equal weightage as i doubt so.. i love the company i have in sch.. and my laughter and smiles are genuine, unlike in the past lyk in sa or church where i might faked it.. cuz these frenz really do let me feel the warmth.. if i choose frenz.. i chose the rite ones..

but these few days.. i really feel tht you really wana make things work out with me.. thanx.. when i reach home looking at ruffles cheese, dark choc, choc ice cream, comics connection voucher, the card and the sweets.. it makes me realize that no one knows me this well.. we have enjoyed, endured, stormed and tide this one and a half year together.. its not sumthing i can easily let go.. so.. i still can go on.. i think...

but my heart bleeds.. my soul aches.. my mind and body broken beyond repair.. pieces of me scattered all over.. it cannot be the same again.. you crush a paper, you open it up, iron it, the wrinkles still show.. you break a heart, picked it up, pieced it together with super glue, the cracks still show..

i go into bed with immense ache in my heart.. i woke up in the morning wish it had all been a dream.. i listened to songs with tears in my eye, melancholy in my heart..
i swallowed both into my heart, inducing more pain.. but i'm not THAT "emo".. you need to be alive to feel the pain, but you dun need the pain to feel alive.. so.. please.. will this pain go away.. with my sorrow and woes.

"There is melancholy in the wind and sorrow in the grass" (Charles Kuralt)
i say.. crudely..
let the melancholy be in the bin and the sorrow, of the past.

well.. enough of emo..

prepare sumthing for my nx post.. gonna make it a happy one.

hi i love to shit.