i cant take it anymore

mood: sianx
weather: sianx
song now: everyday - hillsong

i miss you sooo sooo much.. but i dun c u anymore... i wana c you.. really.. one more time i ask for.. but no longer possible request.. juz further breaks my heart..

came back from ns.. my section really is very fun.. hahha.. its all in my notebook.. got time i will write down for you peeps.. but now i am having a really bad sore throat.. yesterdae cant tok at all.. downing 1.5L of tap water now every half an hour.. wish that it can recover by tonite.. haix.. army life is quite tough but still ok.. i expected worse.. altho everyday i slumped into my bed aching all over.. but no doubt its fun.. no wonder ppl sae one of the the bez times of a man is in army, esp bmt.. hahaha.. haiz.. hope i can go to ocs.. but dun think so.. i haven really been performing.. haiz.. kinda bored..

now i feel like getting a gf.. for fun and laughter, peace and joy.. to mushy mushy a bit to while away time.. cuz its like.. damn sianx lar.. at least that still provides me company.. tho there R sum ppl i msg every nite.. budden.. its juz.. haiz.. durnoe wad i saying oso.. haha.. wadeva i juz said are juz crap.. forget it..

haiz.. laz nite.. tok to this person.. and the way she talks.. and how i talk to her.. juz brought me back to a long time back.. to a person i know i nv will be able to c again.. and i miss that person.. no kidding.. i miss the times you call me dar.. and the gd nite kisses even thru sms u would not miss to me.. i miss that wu liao sms-es u used to send me.. the msg-es that only contain one small "=p" juz to brighten my dae up.. i miss everything u've done.. i miss you so much. where are you where are you where are you.. can i c you one more time?

sing (your love) - hillsong

i am a christian.. and i see no nid in me accomodating the army style and forsake the rite way of living.. we are the way of life.. and so.. i decided.. in army.. i shall not continue in swearing and committing sins, conscious and unconscious.. i wan to feel the presence of god once again, twice, as many times as possible.. i m a christian.. not a follower of the world.. but a follower of god's way..

i know u will light up my life..

before ns

mood: excited
weather: ??
song now: ??

whew.. before ns

well.. my mum asked me to go home early.. but this has got to be a post i definitely have to write..

ok guys.. for those who dun noe yet. i'm going in this fri.. which is tomorrow. haha. 7th jan. my first dae.. n i m soooo anxious about it.. whew..

i duno how to sae about my feelings now. its jux something moz guys would experience on the verge of stepping into a realm of uncertainties, a taste of adulthood and a brand new experience and meeting new friends that i moz prob woul have for life.. n i do seriously pray that i can mit sum gr8 ppl there and really leave my bez memories there.. haix.. i dunno la

jux went to mit my cell group b4 going in.. and took sum neoprints.. i definitely gona bring in sum fotos in view of the lonely daes ahead, and this is definitely gona be one of them.. hmm.. and thanx yinxian for that msg.. the first.. and hopefully not the laz to wish me all the bez in my brand new army life.. prepared almoz everything.. heez..

gonna be about three weeks b4 i can come out again.. i m so gona miss so many ppl.. my mum.. the bez mum, who help me prepare almoz everything that i needd to get inside.. my dad.. my lamest dad.. (well i only haf one anyway..) and so many ppl.. esp the ppl in my class and cell grp.. the hippest and funkiest group of ppl.. hahaha..

juz now on the way to fund hse.. sum watch mit the fockers. others went walk walk.. while me jl and three other cg friends went home. kinda glad they're concerned bout the army stufz.. haha.. and also a big THANX for sutiean for that ji shi zuo lao x infinity (p.s i hope she wins the Mr. innova contest.. *evil laugh*).. and also a real thanx to alex who sponsor me for that meal.. i muz find a way to thank him.. of cuz thatz after my three weeks confinement.. haha.. and my bez partner in my cell group.. mr. lee ka leong.. hahaha..

sianx.. i got so many things to write now all forget liaox.. oh.. and thanx to yuhan also.. hey.. kinda got back to laz time when we were closer rite? haha.. too bad i'm going in again.. remember.. ten years.. and your dad's car.. and again.. kayan.. i really hope you can be less fickle-minded.. i mean it for real.. no ill intentions.. but i really hope the bez for you lar.. heez.. and fer! work hard yeah.. i dunno how u're feeling recently but i hope all the bez for you too. of cuz fund oso.. thanx for letting me to use the com juz when i need to use it. thanx.. u're really a gr8 friend.. (a friend in need is a friend indeed?!) arrgghh.. so many ppl.. haix.. juz wait till i come back and haf a nw com.. gona write another one super long.. oh. and thanx to hope-u-noe-who-u-are.. thanx for everything..

hmm.. should i write another entry? i like writing damn fast then dunno wad i writing now liaox. hahaha..

believe in the supernatural realm

mood:)_(
weather: ??
song now: now that you're near - hillsong

have faith..

got super shocked.. was doing sum fortune telling with myself.. telling myself its all b*******.. jux plae for fun since everyone's sleeping.. try who and who.. then suddenly i tot of a person.. whom i can seem to feel her eyes so different as she used to look at me.. and i try..

having only the name.. i tried..

and i got so shocked.. i'm not gonna say how isit.. but thatz a 1/51 chance.. i got really shocked..

then i got scared.. and i put the card at the bottom of my deck.. and tried again.. telling myself that now its even impossible.. and so.. i tried.. everytime it got stuck.. i put my whole heart in it.. and sum got solved.. then on and on.. the same result..

believe in the supernatural realm..

each time a miracle appears b4 you, each time you rejected the thought that there really is sumthing out there.. each time u've been given a chance and a privilege not everyone can enjoy, each time u treat it as a coincidence..

hmm..

now.. for sum of my personal stufz i juz wana record down and junk to other ppl..

i'm quite afraid of bgr now.. i try my bez not to think.. try my bez at eliminating all possibilities.. i used to treat every gal as a possible gf.. but now.. even a possible gf i will treat her as any other gal.. i realize i can see the meaning sum1 used to tel me.. hahaha.. that once in a lifetime.. even if u do nothing.. you will still meet that special person.. hmm.. after ns ba.. now beta not think.. which is oso the reason i wrote this down.. cuz after i write anything.. it is out of my head and into this blog.. heez..

haix.. actually i dunid to haf a gf and dunid to pursue one.. this physical world is only a transition stage.. to mould me, to sanctify me in a rather ironical way..

even if i can no longer feel you.. i will run after you foreva..

sianx.. dunno wad i writing liaox.. but jux keep writing ba.. hahaha.. so long never blog muz blog gou ben den shuang ma.. hahaha.. oh.. for the people out there and for my lord up there.. i decided to quit drinking le.. yeah.. hahaha.. maybe sumtimes i may drink a sip or two socially.. but then hor.. i finally got the meaning liaox.. hahahz..

hey.. yinxian and shuting.. thanx for msging me.. happy new year to you.. stay pretty ar.. (yea yea.. me not gonna say stay healthy and stufz larz.. you noe me well so kinda expected dun you?) and for those who replied.. thanx.. i lyk.. only sent.. 4,5 msges out.. and 2 replied in the middle of the nite.. hehez.. thanx.. you stay pretty and good-looking alwayz too.. ")

jesus i believe in you and i will go to the ends of the earth to the ends of the earth for you you are the son of god and all the whole world will see that you are god that you are god
haix
believe in the works.. believe..

am i really compatible with this person? hmm.. it is so impossible u noe.. never tot of that b4.. hmm.. :?

old times

mood: sianx
weather: fine, i hope
song now:

hmm..

whoa... these few daes ar.. lyk marathon lydat.. hahax.. nites spent outside > nites spent at home... hahaha..

so many things came into my mind.. memories so sweet... and bitter ones.. hahaha.. guez i m beginning to understand how it works..sumtimes takinh the long road isnt s bad s it seems yar.. haix.. jux woke up at benson's house oso a bit seh seh dunno wad i writing larz.. hahaha..

so lemme say about the stufz about me first..
haix
guez its jux alrite for me to really be awake and stop dreaming.. stop seeking for my other half and concentrate on wad god has for me to do..
haix
my hot temper, jealousy, lust in me has stopped gradually.. and all i hafta do is to slowly let go.. can i? wad i m pursuing maybe wrong..
haix
till we meet again.. and for ppl who notice this thing.. pls dun start telling every1 and jux be a quiet listener... now u noe y old times?