long time...
it has been a long time since i wrote in this blog. and since i only write in this blog when i'm emo, seeing this post is not exactly a good omen...
anw, i am soooo frustrated. now i'm full of regrets. i regret not doing internship in my 2nd year. and i regret not doing internship in my 1st year. who cares if we won the R&F champion. Does my employer care? why do i sacrifice my future just because my friend ask me to help him out. not that i blame my fren, cuz he's also kinda forced into it. but why... sad. sad. sad. its just not worth it.
and now, i stand alone here. No intern. No ext case comp experience. No SEP. All i have left, no offense to anyone, are nothing but grades. BUT, this kinda grade, its so much on the edge its suffocating me. i know i cant drop my cap if i still wan a decent intern. but i cant do it. its all i have left, yet i do not have the confidence or power to protect it.
but then again. i'm so ashamed of myself. initially, entering into NUS Business is the reason i wana escape the rat race. i wana do sumthing different. i dun wana end up like everyone else. but now, i'm back to the rat race.
no. technically, i'm back competing to ENTER THE RAT RACE. i tot i have a clear direction with my gf - job, marriage, hdb, kids, retirement. but no. this is not a clear direction. i need a real direction. something real, tangible and pulls me out of this rat race and let me truly excel and not stay in mediocrity.
God, help me please.
anw, i am soooo frustrated. now i'm full of regrets. i regret not doing internship in my 2nd year. and i regret not doing internship in my 1st year. who cares if we won the R&F champion. Does my employer care? why do i sacrifice my future just because my friend ask me to help him out. not that i blame my fren, cuz he's also kinda forced into it. but why... sad. sad. sad. its just not worth it.
and now, i stand alone here. No intern. No ext case comp experience. No SEP. All i have left, no offense to anyone, are nothing but grades. BUT, this kinda grade, its so much on the edge its suffocating me. i know i cant drop my cap if i still wan a decent intern. but i cant do it. its all i have left, yet i do not have the confidence or power to protect it.
but then again. i'm so ashamed of myself. initially, entering into NUS Business is the reason i wana escape the rat race. i wana do sumthing different. i dun wana end up like everyone else. but now, i'm back to the rat race.
no. technically, i'm back competing to ENTER THE RAT RACE. i tot i have a clear direction with my gf - job, marriage, hdb, kids, retirement. but no. this is not a clear direction. i need a real direction. something real, tangible and pulls me out of this rat race and let me truly excel and not stay in mediocrity.
God, help me please.
