still got chem

mood: sick.. X_X
weather: hot
song now: one laz breath - creed

i tot i've found a road to sumwhere...maybe six feet aint so far down..

damn.. how can i get sick now? tmr still got a chem paper.. nvm.. as long as i dun tel my parents.. guez i'd still go for the chem paper ba.. but i've since dis forgone precious hrs of revision.. damn.

today.. physicx.. er.. wad to say leh? erm.. ok bax.. can pass ba.. econs, maths, physicx over.. left chem.. damn..

its a damn cold nite.. trying to figure out this life.. wun you take me by the hand take me sumwhere new i dunno who u r but i..
i'm with you.. i'm with you..

tmr chem.. half given up.. haix.. dun uds any shit..

econs n maths

mood: fine?
weather: hot
song now: everytime - britney

physics tmr!

today econs.. open up the paper.. browse thru the paper.. oosh lar.. know how to do all.. maybe econs can get a b-grade or sth.. den.. happily doing.. so many things to write.. so shuang.. at the second qn.. "you got fifteen mins left.." damn.. still got another 12m qn.. how? end up.. the laz qn shd be can get 2,3 marks.. damn! i noe how to do.. arrghh.. i hate u!

gettin really depressed after dat.. cant conc on my maths revision oso.. sianx.. my dreamx.. dashed.. my 4 a's.. gone..

maths.. started.. browse thru.. hey.. maybe i noe how to do.. budden.. history can repeat.. ya.. so i try my bez.. not to haf any careless mistakes.. den aha! finish! song bo.. oosh la! maybe.. jux maybe.. can get a b.. tmr physicx.. aiming for another b.. damn.. am i overly-ambitious? but.. i really wan a really nice result slip.. so ppl wun regard me as a slacker but sumone to turn to if they haf any probs.. wana be a useful person.. i mean.. ppl i've taught.. u hafta agree with me rite? i'm smart in sum ways.. so stop treatin me like sum stupid asshole dat i'm alwaz the laz u consider when u wana ask a qn.. geddit? i respect u ppl.. all of u.. so plz gimme sum due respect too..

damn.. it has been more than a week since i dreamt of her.. a face so familiar everytime i c u in my dreamx.. bt i cant freakin hell rem who u r after i woke up.. heeheex.. lookin forward to meeting you tonite again..

sweet dreamx

HaPpY?

mood: HaPpY
weather: HoT
song now: yi qie dou hui guo qu(in the making) - alan poh

ThAnK YoU!

hmm.. reach home first thing.. "eh! you ni de xin lar.." when i received it.. it was torn open.. y was? cz my parents tried their bez to cover up.. but the grinx from their faces simply gave them away.. and they really did a lousy job at enclosing the envelope again.. wadeva~

hmm.. caught me by surprise.. it was by this fren.. well.. 16th june.. today.. er.. 28th.. and u still thank the postman? -__-" wadeva~ made me so touched by the letter.. damn. i gotta mug hard. as u said.. i'm not alone.. i've still got many wonderful frenz around me.. really damn happy to receive it.. even if we dun meet often.. frenz foreva~ hope u feel the same too~ really happy.. rather shock tho.. heeheex.. i hafta work hard.. for my frenz all ard me.. if not for myself.. anw.. if u're readin this.. the letter is jux rite.. exactly the exam week.. hahaha.. maybe u thank de hao..

280604-a happy day

woke up at 10+.. thinkin dat exam startin at 1230pm.. so slowly prepare and stuffs.. had my brunch.. den c the clock.. damn.. even if the exam is startin at 1230 i can be late.. so double my pace.. den msg-ing another saint.. den realize.. gp paper.. startin at 12.. damn.. but den.. still look normal.. look.. damn flustered liaox.. den all the way to sch all use rushing one.. reach sch.. 1210.. took out my pencil case.. threw my bag on the floor.. rush to an empty seat.. gp paper 1.. qn8) does sport bring out the best or the worst in us? finish it in 50mins.. doomed.. slept..
2nd paper.. compre.. rather easy.. but many ppl say hard.. wad does it mean? 2 possibilities.. 1.smart 2.i'm dead. the latter seems more like it.. damn.

after sch.. went to woodlands lib study with ky.. hahaha.. actually its bcuz of chocs.. hahaha.. went hm wif kaleong oso.. he ps us! damn. nvm.. hahaha.. me n ky did sum slack studying.. hahah.. sianx.. after dat.. fotocopy sum stuffs.. breadtalk.. home..

oh.. ThAnK YoU sO mUcH! how do you know i've alwaz wanted a windchime? arrghh.. u've juz realize one of my three biggest wishes.. one of the three things ive sooo wanted in my life.. arrghh.. thank you! :D how u noe one? arrghh.. so touched.. and from the wrapper.. u actually bought it abroad and bring it here? aww.. thank you sooo much.. sooo much.. i lurve that windchime.. so cute.. aw man.. thanx! and u kept ur word.. u bought the necklace.. i tot u wun buy.. and u still bought it.. and the bez thing.. i like it a lot! the colour and combi.. arrghh.. thanx! guo ran gou peng you.. nv regret having you as a fren.. altho a bit stupid, boyish, clumsy, forgetful, insensitive, alwayz-later-than-the-latest-me, un-vain, quiet, noisy in the rong way, clever in the wrong sense.. lurve you as my beztezteztezt fren foreva & eva & eva & _{eva & eva &....}(echo off)..

danm. i lurve that windchime.

and can you plz tel me how u noe my three wanted-for-life things? i tot i only told one person? how come you know? or isit coincidental? arrrghhhh..

bored

mood: bored
weather: hot
song now: no song

^*^bored^*^

i'm bored.

new skin.. was browsing sum skins when i came across this forevafrenz picture.. and fell in love with it.. hmm.. a bit gay.. but.. its cute.. no cute smileys.. no contrast.. no special aa stuffs.. jx a plain blog.. can depict happy.. can picture my sadness.. so fitting..

again.. the peace felt in me grew.. can c from my choice of the skin.. ya.. tho a bit cramped..

i like this skin..

*yx~ yar~ i tink i dunno who i am anymore.. datz y.. but.. changes.. can be beta.. means.. it can be for the worse oso.. damn.. i've turned pessimistic..

*sw~ hey~ didnt expect u to be here.. haaha.. haf fun with ur block tests and 'a's.. :) and wad gals? hahaha.. all gals xian qi me.. so yar.. haaha..

*wx~ hmm~ i durnoe y oso.. datz y i wrote i durnoe mar.. sianx..

*jl~ mm. i will.. but if time runs out.. may ironically end up like a hangman.. ~~ X_X ~~ :'( ~~

a msg by bawdlp

mood:
weather:
song now:

a msg by bawdlp

yesterday.. my mum asked me if wana watch soccer at 2.45am with my parents.. i agreed.. woke up 2.45am.. saw less than a half.. went back to slp.. cant stand it le.. went back to my cosy little corner b4 i drifted off to dreamxland..

i'm sumwhere.. durnoe where.. anywhere.. but the weird thing is.. i haf got this dream.. where i'm with a gal.. but everytime i woke up i forgot who isit.. when i recall.. she's so familiar.. sum1 i've met these yrs? but who isit? hmm.. try to scan thru with as many gals i can rem.. bt i cant rem her.. weird.. and she loves me! and i love her too! but who isit? farnie.. nvm.. its juz a dream.. but.. y has it continued to close to a week consecutively?

woke up.. saw ky's msg earlier on.. ok.. muggin today again.. den another msg JUX when i woke up.. left a smile on my face.. by bawdlp.. she's so silly.. hahax.. she seems to be in a gd mood today.. gd.. den cont a little msg-ing b4 i get down to sum serious work..

oh. beta write this b4 i forget.. alwaz forgettin things easily recently.. i tot i like a gal.. budden.. it turns out to be.. i'm kinda jealous of how another guy cld like her soooo much.. so i'm tryin to get dat feelin too.. and it turns out to be.. i dun like her as much as i do.. or rather i dun like her in a way i tot i did.. kinda sorriex.. but.. well.. frenz foreva.. and i've changed.. meanin my tots haf changed.. the "se and arrogant guy" who give no damn about ur feelings.. jux wan himself to be happy.. the guy who alwaz bullied you.. and doesn't eat dinner but eat.. is gone.. u shd be glad.. u're freed.. and now.. i'm trying desperately to find a reason to leave you too.. or rather.. i durnoe.. kinda guilty to hold u back.. u shd go find the real person whose missing rib-bone is you.. yea..

anw.. sum further things i noticed i've changed.. i used to grumble and do nothing but critisize when i c anything wrong.. now i try to alleviate it.. if not preventable.. when i c ppl pushing me to get on the escalator.. i would haf jerk the person back and squeezed if not startin a quarrel.. today.. i stopped. give way. said "be careful". den get on the escalator.. the person turned back and smiled.. i've becum more considerate.. but its like.. so not me.. and i feel v sad to do things against my will.. but datz life.. it wld be beta if everyone can tink of others.. but.. my change.. too drastic.. i forgot myself. i durnoe how to explain this point but.. hmm.. lemme c if i got any eg tmr ba..

now i'm tinkin.. cuz i dun haf the looks.. sum ppl.. actually found my nonchalant attitude quite "charmin" in a way which i dun c so.. juz c a f-up world not worth doing anything to change.. but now.. i even lose dat trait.. so.. wad haf i got left?

went to mug with yx, wx, ky.. took a neoprint.. damn.. my hair look like one of those on a butch.. and yesterday.. kayan n wx kept saying i look like a butch.. took sum fotos on their phone.. damn! i look like a butch.. gotta cut hair soon.. wth.. gotta cut hair soon.. sianx.. bored.. never c M&m chocs today.. haix...

now.. rite here.. i'm thinkin.. any gal i like now? and to my amazement.. no gals popped up.. ya ya.. ppl may say wad u dun haf to like a gal to keep life going.. but since my first.. there's alwaz a gal on my mind.. and now.. i find dat.. i scanned thru all the gals.. i found out.. platonic frenships are wad i haf and treasure.. i mean.. if love is coming as it is depicted in my dream.. it will find its way to my heart.. i dun hafta do anything.. be it ^{up there} or _{down here}.. it will.. i believe...

damn.. i'm such a wuss ritE? but.. i durnoe.. my thinkin.. after dat super one chat with a fren.. changed so much within me.. damn.. but i shd be feelin happy..

but why do i STILL feel so sad? :(

an alan

mood:
weather:
song now:

How to make a Alan

Ingredients: 1 part intelligence 3 parts silliness 5 parts ego

Method: Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Top it off with a sprinkle of lustfulness and enjoy!

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

drowning in books

mood: o.k la.
weather: hot acidified MnO₄^-
song now: let it burn

drowning in books

wa.. so many to write today.. lotx lotx.. so juz bear with me yea? heheexx..

yesterday.. woke up, b4 washin up and wif a little tv.. followed by a guy who's damn late (45mins?) rushing all the way to ps to meet a fren in de arcade.. and c him plays games so well.. hahaha.. after like.. 3 hrs in that suffocating stuffed-up noisy super-enclosed area.. carrefour! for dinner and supper ltr.. and off we went to my fren's hse..

watched a little tv, played a little piano, cooked a little noodles, drank a little sprite, touched a little com, had a little massage.. and off we went to the pool.. and JUX b4 we were to submerged our shivering bodies into dat intimidatin pool.. ARRGHH.. he had a minor accident.. dat called off the swimmin.. and so back again.. tv, piano, food, massage, com, and... mug! b4 i fell aslp on the couch.. damn.

woke up.. found my carboxylic acids notes on the ground.. sianx.. washed up, went off, took a cab hm.. $10.70.. slack.. bathed.. tv.. WOODLANDS LIBRARY! saw ky & huilin.. nax n wenxian oso.. when the gate opened its like.. whoa.. everyone running.. i mean.. who cares about etiquette when there are scarce resources and unlimited wans? yea.. saw two rooms today.. both kopped by gals.. one the gal ran past me and enter rite in my face.. second is cuz.. erm.. hahaha.. i kinda fang shui.. but she so bu ke qi.. so i ended up saying ThAnX.. got a table tho.. hahha.. den walked ard greetin ppl till kayan arrived.. den me n wx went to fetch her.. den started.. the combination power.. damn.. regretted callin they two tog.. cant study in peace.. took a lot of lame spas fotos.. kana beaten.. esp pain by kayan.. rite arm.. now ok liaox.. and blah blah.. arlow gals.. this is not a meetin up session where we haf fun.. when we take back result slips c we can still laugh anotx.. dinner at mos.. arcade.. ddr.. time crisis 2.. kaiyuan damn zai.. and home..

*poof*

here i am... recollecting wad i have been doing so far.. howeva.. wad makes humans diff from beasts is.. feelings and emotions.. yea..

had a little misunderstanding.. durnoe if it has really been cleared.. but.. well.. hope for the bez and prepare for the worst ba.. hmm.. been tokin to a particular fren.. who made me rather enlightened.. u can say i've grown up.. you can say i've becoming more and more "normal and boring, non-special and w/o my own opinions", i realize many things is dis one chat.. dis fren.. been telling me about r/s, and her bf.. and made me realize many things.. sum things.. are selective-invisible.. sum can c it sum cannot.. i cant c many things in the past.. overlooking other ppl's feelings and neglecting wad may be of the consequences.. and now.. i realize.. i hafta think of everythin b4 i do anything.. think twice.. tink datz wad it means.. hafta consider every detail.. so dat i dun end up hurtin ppl.. and dat ppl can only hurt me.. so i'll be the only one who suffer.. i mean.. datz maths.. one die or many die? ya.. and i hafta be more considerate.. like.. when stayin in other ppl hse cant be bu zhi dong.. if wana eat.. cook it urself.. if wana drink.. get it urself.. and wash ur cupx and bowls.. all these i gAve no hoot about them.. and v farnie.. i used to hate babies and kids.. troublesome and noisy and so stupid and inconsiderate.. and yesterday.. i saw a baby damn cute.. really damn damn cute.. so adorable all attention were diverted to her.. her smile v sweet.. den on my rite is a family.. the guy look damn fierce.. but the wife not.. den the elder sis kept playin with the younger bro.. den the father kept saying things wif a stern face but the kids kept laughing.. and the sis still holding the bro hand.. den a moment.. the father smiled.. den everyone smile.. cant hear wad they r saying.. seems like the father was cracking jokes w/o laughin.. and when they all smiled.. so sweet.. den i tot of.. getting married and having kids are not so bad after all.. so sweet.. so xing fu.. wad a cute family.. totally denied my bachelor theory.. damn. y m i changing?

and so many things of me have changed.. the jealousy.. disappeared.. either the feelin is gone or my temper is gone.. shd be the latter.. cuz.. i felt peace within me.. i can uds the purpose of giving in.. and be the "gd man".. it is a brand new feeling.. it gives me serenity within.. not as much troubles.. and more aware of how other ppl are feelin.. even to the old lady who bumped into me and nv say sorrie i cant believe a second ltr i hope she can relax abit so she wun get into any trouble or such.. truthfully.. not cursing not swearin.. but true prayers.. sth i wld nv eva do if my fren has not enlighten me.. but.. despite all the "Gd" feelings i am feelin now......

why do i still so much "sad-er" than b4?

damn..

mood: suckx
weather: suckx
song now: the reason - hoobastank

the reason - bandlg

after a day of muggingx.. with ky & vin, met yx & wx in the lib.. serious muggingx.. plus saw zhenjie and wei wei in the enclosed "room".. and another surprise in another "room".. a perfect distraction+motivation.. studied quite lotx today.. but i noe i cant absorb.. after all dat had happened in a flash.. cant conc for goodness sake..

i m an asshole

for being insensitive, for neglectin, for being such a bastard, for being such a sucker, for being such a lousy guy..

but all i ask for now.. is ur rational thinking.. plz dun let emotions boil and shi qu li zhi.. can scold me for all you wan.. cuz i can uds.. but plz dun misunderstand me..

plz..

damn

F U C K

mood: sianx
weather: cold.. even tho its >30d.c
song now: the reason - hoobastank..

muggingx..

damn.. still mugging..

dis morn i woke up.. and tot of the dream laz nite.. and was damn sad-ed by it.. cuz.. dis stupid "wife" of mine.. altho i oreadi xiu le ta.. but.. everything she is doing is making me so sad.. i mean.. cant things return to b4.. jux toked to a clazmate.. cuz i'm exploding.. really.. of how a misconception of hers is killing me..

jux frenship dun u geddit?

but a paranoid you wld end up hiding in that miserable bunny hole of yours..

damn.

i mean.. well.. i dunno bout u.. i'm forgoing dis unique bond we once shared..

i'll miz you..

and one thing..

F u C k!

wondering y i became vulgar all of a sudden? datz cuz i feel so.. in my heart.. i jux feel so f up.. no one uds me.. maybe one now.. at least he tries.. but.. the situation is like.. no matter wad i do oso cannot.. wtf.. he dun understand.. she dun understand.. u dun understand.. even i myself now dun understand..

arrghhgg.. do u now how sad isit to be mis-udstood? how sad isit to hear all those words from a fren u treasure so much? how heart-squeezin it is to noe wad u tink?

bt i actually dun intend, cuz i cant, to save myself..

damn.

i suck.

kayan n co.

mood:
weather:
song now:

bhb.. utilu?

today.. went out with ky(kaiyuan) to shop for sth for his gf.. hahax.. walk so much lorx.. heerens, pacific plaza, the "boardwalk and park place", wisma, shop and shop.. saw quite a no. of glg, which all looked at ky.. hahaha.. he bought le.. den went cine.. cc.. played a bit of ddr.. hmm.. tui bu le.. a normal eight-feet-level game i oso can fail.. wa biangx.. den attractted a v v small crowd only.. so sianx..

went to great world city to find a fren.. with her frenz.. sianx.. i dowana tok about the way there.. sianx.. my another fren didnt reply and tell me.. u noe who u r cz rite now i'm scoldin you.. hahahx.. and my fren who nv say clearly.. thank goodness she paid me back.. hahahx.. thanx! hmm.. studied.. went up the arcade.. to find it closing.. went hm with a super lame guy and another nice gal.. den went 7-11 buy sth.. saw sum1 stealing.. b4 i can say anything he's gone.. 30+ yr old adult.. seem pro.. went to the back.. stuff the stuffs.. and went off.. shame on you.. guez wad he took? m&m peanuts several packets.. damn u.. hope u get caught.. not like u cant pay for it.. if u're stealin bread or sth.. i can assume u r damn poor.. and i wld turn a blind eye.. but chocs? dun choke on it.. dun get diarrhoea.. dun get sick.. dun c any worm in it.. bez still.. DUn c HALF a worm in it.. dun get toothache.. such shameful acts.. u suck.. wad haf u learnt in these yrs? if its 13 yr old.. they're ignorant.. i can uds.. u? f off.. totally disgusted..

damn.. m i not myself? m i not alan? y haf i change so much in these one and a half yrs.. isit every jc-ian wld experince dis? or am i purely easily influenced.. and more moody.. rem the days in cj.. so fun.. no worries AT ALL.. but now.. met so many ppl.. and more problems.. sick..

sick of being normal

cry babies

mood:
weather:
song now:

cry babies?

Message: :: Do you often cry in front of people
or alone?
-alone

:: Have your friends ever seen you cry?
-yea tink so.. damn

:: Have you cried today?
-for?

:: Do you usually cry for a long time?
-c how long it laz lorx..

:: Do you get really red when you cry?
-erm.. do u look in the mirror when u cry? besides.. i cant appear red u c.. heehex.

:: Have you ever cried because you were happy?
-hmm.. did i?

:: Have you ever been someone's "crying shoulder"?
-yea.. but now.. not often.. ppl dun find me when they're sad.

:: Have you ever hugged someone because they were
crying?
- erm.. ya.. but it was my fault anw..

:: Have you ever had a shoulder to cry on?
- yupx! laz nite a fren juz offered me!

:: Have you been hugged when you cried?
- when i was one yr old.. ya..

:: Do you cry during movies?
- if no gals beside me.. n its really damn sad.. ya.. :)

:: Do you cry while reading books?
- nahx.. i dun read books..

:: Does music make you cry?
- alwayz does.. tearin i mean.. like out of a sudden the tears jux dropped.. my closer frenz shd all haf noe it..

:: Have you ever been called a cry baby?
- when i was a baby..

:: Have you ever tried to stop yourself from
crying?
- alwayz... but when i tell ppl.. they jux somehow managed to make me cry..

:: Does this survey make you want to cry?
- er.. hahaha..

:: Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?
- erm.. i guez so.. and they know it too..

:: Do you cry when you are physically hurt?
- wad? siao.. lydat go ns sure die one larx? ")

:: Do you cry when you are scared?
- huh? how about changing it to scared of loneliness?

:: Do you cry when you are mad?
- i'm usually mad.. everyone knows it.. so when i'm cryin.. datz cuz i'm mad.. hmm.. make no sense..

:: Do you cry over bad grades?
- nahx.. kinda used to it..

:: Have you ever cried over spilled milk?
- when i was a baby yea? heeheex.. erm.. so far i only regretted 3 things i haf/haf not done.. if itx cuz of these 3.. hmm.. maybe?

:: Can you make yourself cry?
- can! listen to the sad songs..

:: When was the last time you cried?
- i durnoe..

:: Have you ever cried because you were sad for
someone else
- yea.. when i tried to put myself in his shoes and realize it was too unbearable for me..

:: Do you have a favorite crying quote
- wadz dat?

:: Have you ever cried for anyone who wouldn't
cry for you?
- yea.. i mean.. yar.. i durnoe?

:: Do you ever cry on anniversaries of things?
- not really.. jux upset ba.. where got anyhow cry one..

:: Do you cry over someone you love becoz they
have a gf/bf?
- tink so..

::When was the last time u felt love and u cried?
- No OnE LuRvEs Me..

::Who is the person you always cry for?
- can i keep dat little secret to me?

:: Will you cry because this survey is over:
- hahaha.. plz try again later..

mug, stars

mood: -__-
weather: hot
song now: ami - midi

sum recommendations..

ff8-
ami, balamb gardens, fisherman's horizon, my mind, oceanside
ff7-
prelude, tifa's theme, flowers blooming, red XIII theme, holdin my tots, ahead on our way, farm boy, cosmo canyon, life stream, cid's theme, interrupted by fireworks..

arrgghhh..

happy father's day dad!

went mugging after ky called me.. den went to woodlands lib.. found a seat after "bullyin" a small gal.. hahahx.. so bad lorx.. den book the seats.. go cwp eat.. saw eileen at the cafe.. greetingx.. den off to lunch..

cwp.. went to eat at macx for the cheap student meal.. sianx.. oh.. we wanted to surprise by buying the choc.. but dun haf so 2 bad.. den went back.. ky crapped wid eileen a while.. hehex.. den went up.. got seat liaox.. den ky called her up.. den she ended up mugging recipe books! arrghh.. *sian mu* den a bit mugging.. a bit browsing thru the yummy dishes.. and a day is over..

went to walk a while.. den saw a zai kia at ddr.. paranoia maniac stil can pass.. -__-" den ar.. went back yishun.. loiter ard.. den went hm.. a fren saw me while in the car.. how lucky can she get? haahx.. went hm.. no one's in.. took my key from my hse.. went in.. went out.. loiter again..

after a few msg.. decided to meet up wif an old fren.. and yea.. haaha.. crapped as alwaz.. and enjoyed the nite sky.. and watched fireworks.. so pretty.. ahh.. den.. her dad called.. so.. ciaoz.. and now i'm back hereh rottin again.. *yawnx*

life sure is boring..

woodlands lib

mood: sick
weather: SiCk..
song now: SICK cant u hear me? stop askin me!

bonkers..

i'm going crazy from all these studyin.. really.. i'm going nuts.. arrghh.. chem suckx.. and to tink i'm oreadi plannin to go tmr.. hahaha.. tink my whole of next week going there ba.. wanted to find a day to go out with u.. but its either u cant make it or i'm busy.. i mean.. haix.. suan le.. ;p

today slack at hm.. den went woodlands lib again.. mugging is gd for health yea.. heehez.. sianx.. went there.. met ky ps king.. so seldom he nv ps me.. hahahx.. went to the lib. no seats.. off to cwp long john.. with a not-so-gd-hearing auntie.. met two old frenx.. one jux wave.. one came over and tok a while.. anw mag become chio-er by the day ar? hahaha.. den back.. saw another fren at the library.. with her fren.. arghh.. dun confuse me! ok.. i went studyin.. ky left at 4+.. i studied til 7.. went hm with gastric.. ya datz all.. ya..

damn. today was boring.. tmr's gona b worse..

sianx

mood: sianx
weather:
song now:

missin sum1

dreamt of my 1st 3 mths clazmate dis morn.. and so many ppl.. and in dis dream.. it was darn stupid.. i was with many ppl.. and dis gal.. me n her actually frenched(wtf?!?) in my dream.. den a bit the *censored.. den i was at the void deck.. and with three brazilian soccer players.. ronaldo, cafu and another i durnoe name.. den i actually qie them soccer.. and i can do all the tricks that i wanted to do in my lifex! (no wonder my frenz say i always dreaminx.. guez datz wad the meant.. to heaven with euro2004! changin my life.. hahaha.. ) and i was so pro.. can do tricks like i'm the bez in the world.. but in the end still lost.. hahaha.. den the goalpost v small one.. den i managed to score a few goals.. haha.. nice dreamx.. woke up smilinx.. :) as for dat 1st 3 mths clazmate.. heeheez.. sorriex.. ;)

woke up.. mum going to ah ma house.. dad off to work.. bro ns.. so dat leaves me alone facing the walls.. stayin in the room.. stoning.. starin at com.. missin sum1.. took out my notes.. lay them on the table.. laid on the bed.. stared at the ceiling with the numerous stick-on glow-in-the-dark stars.. missin sum1.. got up.. ate my brunch at 5.38.. missin sum1.. went to watch tv.. push ups.. hand-stands.. upside down house over sum time and sum distance.. blood rush.. laid down on bed.. missin sum1.. down to eat alone.. bat-ku-teh with a big bowl of rice.. missin sum1.. hm.. tv.. msg-in.. parents back.. back to my room.. missin sum1.. chatting with ppl like ah chow & yinxian & martin.. bloggin.. missin sum1..

bored.. the tests are coming.. and i dun haf much time left.. yet.. i'm still slackin.. so by hook or by crook.. i'm going woodlands lib study.. alone or wadsoeva.. jux hafta go.. cant study at hm for nuts.. sianx.. so ke lian lorx.. haix.. no one wana & can come out pei me study.. damn.. i hate u all.. :'( *sniff* sum1 come console me plz.. :( my ears block.. so xing ku.. cant conc.. den like too much pressure in me.. hey.. there is awd.. X_X h.a.h.a.h. trying my v bez to laugh now..

damn.. life's hard here in s'pore too..

wa..

mood:
weather:
song now:

when charcoal burns

wa.. cant stand it liaox.. today went swimmin at jurong there.. whoa.. my back ar.. my face ar.. all chao ta.. as in.. when i'm dark enuff.. den today i juz acquired red colour.. eeks.. i'm burnt.. cant believe it.. datx wad happen when a person cant get any darker.. and the skin burns.. hehez.. ^^

mornx.. went woodlands waited for ky.. den chinese garden meet yuki n vince.. hahaha.. den off to the wonderland ..::woohoo::.. went there.. changed.. and tried everthing sooo many times.. and tan! (me tan? yes! hahaha.. ) den the wave pool n the slide.. shuangx.. oh.. saw quite a no. of ok-lookin gals todayx.. ^^ *hapyx* hahaha.. oh.. one thing i cant forget... it was damn embarassing.. haix.. in the wave pool.. as the wave subsided.. den all leaving.. den a gal.. i mean.. aww man.. at shd be sooo embarassin for you.. cuz.. after those fun and stuffs.. and i'm not jokin here.. neither am i mocking at her.. but jux felt so bad for her.. cuz.. in her laughter n hilarious actions.. she didnt realize.. dat.. her bikini.. went out of place.. i mean.. u get wad i mean rite? it jux didnt cover wad it is supposed to cover larx.. den i asked my frenz if my eyes r playin tricks on me.. den all.. erm.. kinda sian diao.. den we went off not lookin back.. i mean.. datx so paiseh rite? haix.. heard from yuki a lady inform her and she adjusted liaox.. but.. haix.. wadz done cant be undone.. sianx.. y so careless rite? haix.. gals reading dis.. be extremely careful when wearin bikinis k? serious.. haix.. so sad-ed for her.. *sigh*

went woodlands study.. and yay! did quite a lot of serious studying today.. *gladx* hehez.. oh.. den saw quite a no. of ppl oso.. like gravitational force.. su you yi my sec clazmate.. and zhenjie with my pri sch clazmate.. heh heh.. kana caught red-handed.. hahaha... sianx.. once i reach hm cant study liaox.. anyone wana go study with me at woodlands library tmr? heheez.. i c no replies.. nvm.. shall go there myself.. hmm.. sianx..

16th

mood:
weather:
song now:



today's the 16th.. how long has it been? how ironical things turn out to be.. but well.. the past is of no worth mentionin.. four more days to go.. and its 2 mths.. finally.. so.. one month has passed.. nine yrs and eleven more months to go.. b4 i can make gd my word.. hope it'll be unlike ppl say.. time cannot wash off the ionic bond between us in this ten-year-pact.. anything could happen in this time.. but juz rem our promises to each other.. everyday i'm counting down, every minute i'm looking forward to dis day.. will time really disperse the emotions? if dat must be the case.. wad can i do to stop time?

feelin rather glad today.. dunno y oso.. hahaha.. despite the fact that i havent really achieved wad i wanted to achieve today.. which is the finishing of at least 5 chem notes.. sianx.. but nvm.. hahaha..

*clara - hey! princess! altho i still dunno who is dat lucky fella.. but ha! congrats! hmm.. u cant study? well.. u hafta.. too bad u're born here.. hehez.. ^-^ shd feel lucky to be worrying bout studies and not ur basic needs like water n food.. a little far-fetched.. but datz wad i feel after i went for the famine camp.. hmm.. feel like "adopting" a child.. hehez..

i mean.. ppl from the camp like jialiang, yinxian, wenxian, ky, kkh, whoeva blah blah.. dun u tink studyin is a beta chore.. (hey note i still using the word chore which means i still dislike studying..) hahaha..

sianx.. i wana shop! i wana buy that board shorts soooo much i'd do anything for that.. i mean.. i dowana use my savings.. but i wana do sth to get that.. hahaha.. sounds stupid yea? haha.. but dat board short is soo nice.. white blue.. material.. plus now gss.. (haha.. actualli still no discount.. unless its the quiksilver store above..) anw the b.s is at pacific plaza ripcurl store.. arrgghh.. "75 bucks for that piece of cloth?" i can imagine my mum nagging.. bt arrgghh.. i juz fell in love with dat b.s.. i mean... love needs no reason yea? and possessing it wld be a rreeeaaalll bonus.. hahaha.. how? i wan... den dat time i still reject the work offer.. 6 bucks an hr for being a statue.. oopx.. i mean waiter.. and easily fetching 50 buckx a day.. got 72 buckx one day.. from 7am to 9pm with two hrs break.. arrghh.. i mean.. i need the money.. bt i dowana draw liaoz.. how can i break my promise to my mum cuz of a b.s.. but hey.. dat isnt a simple b.s.. i luv it.. so datz special.. cuz..

anything i like, anyone i luv..

is special.

chocs suckx

mood:
weather:
song now:

liars

sianx

they say chocx haf a happy effect on ppl.. but y do i feel so stuffed up inside of me? sianx.. i ate snickers, crunch, timeout, milo bar, one white hershey's and one brown one.. but y do i still feel so weird inside of me? hmm.. even the most precious and priceless choc.. i ate the third liaoz.. but y?

sianx.. after this gona mug liaoz.. time's running out.. gotta finish at least reading my chem notes.. and complete my qns by this week.. so the laz week can leave for econs n maths.. yea.. hmm.. kinda sianx.. taking four subs still.. despite strong discouragement from the hod and sub teachers.. haiz.. but.. haiz.. i dunno.. i wana conc on my studies now... only on my studies.. i dowana tink bout other stuffs.. but.. cant seem to do so.. trying dat for almost a month le.. conc on studying only.. but cant.. must i walk this journey alone? i dunno.. try as i might.. i dunno how far i can go.. been feelin kinda f up now.. esp with new misunderstandings kept surfacing..
i wana study....
bt i cant!
sianx.. summore my hse so luan now.. cant study properly at home.. and with this com in my room.. haiz..

been rather addicted to dis song.. "the reason" by hoobastank.. damn nice.. maybe i'm gona learn the guitar chords for this.. den can you kong go sumwhere and play and sing under the moonlight.. alone i guez.. and a fren of mine.. told me the soul of this song.. and i can slowly place myself in the shoes of that guy.. and actualli tot.. hey.. this song's perfect for me.. i mean.. maybe.. just maybe.. i juz found a reason for me to change.. and yea.. a reason to start over new..

i'm not a perfect person.. there's many things i wish i didnt do.. but i continue learning.. i never meant to do those things to you.. and so i hafta say b4 i go.. that i juz wan you to noe..
i've found a reason for me.. to change who i used to b.. a reason to start over new.. and the reason is you..
i'm sorrie that i hurt you.. its sth i must live with everyday.. and all the pain i put you thru.. i wish that i cld take it all away.. and b the one who catches all your tears.. that y i need you to hear..
i've found a reason for me.. to change who i used to be.. a reason to start over new.. and the reason is you.. and the reason is you.. and the reason is you.. and the reason is you..
i'm not a perfect person i nv meant to do those things to you and so i hafta say b4 i go that i juz wan you to noe..
i've found a reason for me.. to change who i used to be.. a reason to start over new.. and the reason is you..
i've found a reason to show.. a side of me you didnt know.. a reason for all that i do.. and the reason is you..

the reason

mood: singing
weather: hot
song now: the reason - hoobastank

the reason

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new

And the reason is You [x4]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

cont..

mood:
weather:
song now:



(cont.)

den ar.. went back at abt 4? den washin up n debrief n stuffs.. slept at 5.. well.. i slept ltr than 5.. cuz u noe.. on the track.. can c the stars.. den.. as i lie down.. pondering on my decision.. rem a stupid fren of mine told me not to miss sum1 too much under the nite sky.. esp with stars.. damn.. i oreadi tried my bez.. in the whole evening.. juz to try my bez to stop tinking.. but.. as the nite sky, full of stars.. enter my eyes.. i cant sleep.. but tink of the wonderful memories tog again.. it is den i realize how deep i sinked.. and realize.. i've gotta get out of dis.. its hard.. i know.. but den.. i've made a decision.. the whole torturous evening and the sudden turnoff of me juz b4 the lect.. doubt anyone wld haf noticed dat.. and the pining in the nite.. made my decision..

slept < 45mins.. 6am.. woke up.. gtg prepare for the newspaper collecting.. cant really buck up after that slp.. or isit a slp anw? hmm.. the milo bar i ate earlier on didnt alleviate m hnger either.. sianx.. ohh! so far haven mention my grp.. me, ky, jialiang, kkh, diana, zien, sherlyn, and yi wei and eileen.. both councillors.. well.. they 2 quite ez to mingle wif lar.. the yi wei is ok cuz he always play along with us and doesnt haf any attitudes or sth which i may present if i m in a stranger grp.. and his clazmate.. another councillor.. eileen.. is another sociable gal.. can tok freely to her and she can draw gr8 banners! hahhaa.. artistic gal.. tho i hafta apologized to her for sth i shdn't haf told her.. but well.. hmm.. too bad.. den next day i oso nv really tok to her cuz of dat.. den the yiwei ar.. hahaha.. so crappy lar.. heard from sum ppl he is those kinda.. yea.. hahha.. but he's quite nice actually.. always help other ppl and stuffs.. hahaa.. councillors sure do haf an aura round them ya? haha.. newspaper collection fin liao den slack.. for damn long.. den slack by taking a long bus ride.. and slack in the campus.. and slack.. den go convention hall.. c sum concert.. and that alicia is chio la? hahaha.. and the band.. oh my.. jason mraz's you and i both.. my goodness.. dat song.. arrghhh.. damn.. i mis that song! once my song.. hmm.. and the rock star song.. and coldplay's yellow.. and the song reason.. oh my.. oh.. damn.. i sat in between the gals cuz i wanted to help the grp to snatch a gd row.. in the end.. i suffer.. sianx.. squashed! den 8.43pm.. suppose to break fast at 8.30.. mr. u-know-who still saying his grandfather story.. when i was a boy.. i used to.... i dowana know how ur heart is burnin and how u starve.. i wana know when can m stomach stop burning and when i can stop starving.. den with a series of token presentation.. here comes the long awaited food.. damn.. it sure is nice.. thai express.. its nice.. hahaha.. or isit i'm juz too hungry? hahaha.. ;p

went hm.. suppose to go my fren hse watch the wan ren zhu mu match.. france vs england.. but haiz.. sianx.. wtf.. wanted to lie down.. ended up slping.. yawnx.. sian sian..

arghh.. anw.. halfway thru yesterday.. thanx to the enlightenment of a fren.. i decided to cont waitin.. unless the one for me turns up.. yea.. *bored*

famine camp

mood:
weather:
song now:



back from famine camp.. oh well.. at least its a camp i dun regret going.. altho i may have cheated for a little.. but well.. hahaha.. ;p so shuang.. so fun and stuffs.. and altho the hunger + gastric i always experience everyday, + the lack of sleep which again i everytime experienced whenever i'm down.. this time it feels gd.. to know tt it has got a purpose..

why are you here?

initially.. of cuz its bcuz of the 30 cip hrs lucrative offer dat it make.. and the opportunity to make to new frenz.. (well.. i didnt know that my grp only got 2 new ppl and neither did i noe that we will be so bz n bushed to know ppl from other groups..) as i anticipated this as a camp of breaking rules, senseless and juz-another-camp , i began to feel things differently as the whole thing commence..

it is only in the camp i realize how wrong i m.. being oblivious and ignorant of the outer world, i do not know how fortunate it is to be in s'pore.. the stats are alarming.. ppl are dying every second of deaths that can be avoided and of reasons many s'poreans often abused, like clean water, food, medical health care dat are so available to us dat we took for granted.. i tink everyone ought to take part in dis cam for once at least in their lifetime.. to know how lucky isit to be born in s'pore.. and to lend a helping hand to those in need.. i dunno bout myself.. bt this camp sure changed lots in me.. i really needa be grateful to be born here.. really..

the games - well.. it was kinda fun.. if counting out the weariness we r experiencing.. hahaha.. 1st game was tying our feet tog and to take water from designated watewr coolers with small miserable cups.. well.. sum ppl cheated .. but my grp did things the proud way.. desipte being one of the VERY few teams who didnt cheat.. we got one of the most water.. hahaha.. ouch.. my feet hurtx.. oh.. one thing worth mentioning.. at the start.. me and ky RUN tog and were the fastest.. hahaha.. zai bo? tink all notice us liaoz.. hahaha.. ;p den 2nd the hunger lecture.. which gave me a gr8 memory.. kinda boring tho.. haha.. den all the lame lectures.. sum must plan budget and draw stupid stuffs.. haha.. and wad reflection.. bt the games were fun.. the tearin paper was boring.. if got forfeit i tink shd be more fun ba.. hahaha.. and the hunger game.. its the findin of soya bean in darkness.. can dio land mines oso lorz.. hahaha.. i found six in darkness.. hahaha.. not bad ar? hahaha.. and oso the give egg part.. so farnie lar? den the egg squashed lor.. about using legs only.. to pass a quill eegg and a chicken egg.. hahaha.. anw ky ate the egg next morn.. eeks.. anw.. when passin the chicken egg.. when u really hafta pull the both ppl beside you to take and receive the chicken egg.. it was kinda scary.. cuz u may fall any moment.. den juz hafta clutch so titely den must conc at the fullest to prevent the egg from dropping and restart.. hahaa.. den come the nite activity.. when every pair got one blind and one mute.. haha.. kkh quite dependable oso larz.. hahha.. at least he really did take care of me.. esp in the war zone.. if not for his help i wure bcum p.o.w one.. a person whom u can place ur trust on.. hahaha.. anw i'm blind.. hehez.. so fun.. got wad stairs, war zone, tunnel! bez part.. must crawl.. must duck walk.. den so many obstacles. .and i tel u.. being blind-folded is scary.. hahaha.. (to be cont..)

sick..

mood:
weather:
song now:

someone's saying a prayer

stayed at ben hse.. quite fun.. bond a lot.. the g excitement.. hahaha.. internal joke.. den winning 11 spam.. and pool.. and mugging.. so cold lar? brr.. leng si wo le lar.. fer n ben n yuki.. all the shuai kors.. hahaha.. but since all so sho liao den nv put wax or wadeva to style.. den all like sai.. hahaha.. me too.. the worst.. w/o wax i suckx lar? hahaha.. ;p

den ate a little.. and slack.. den i went to mug a bit.. chem.. organic chem so many topics.. how? sian diao le lar.. j2 liaoz.. mths ltr a level liaoz.. cant really afford to slack too much.. sianx.. opportunity cost incured.. haiz.. wad can i do? sianx.. jc life suckx.. for those j1s.. beta enjoy while u can ;p honeymoon yr is so gd lar.. so huai nian lar.. haiz.. but den make sure dun retain.. hahaha.. ;p den long bang fer dad car to aes.. took 171 den hm..

from early in the morn cough like i nv cough b4 in my life lar? tink i woke them up.. so sorrie la? really cant control ma.. haiz.. den + flu + sick sick.. haiz.. reach hm.. c the laz msg dat i received quite long ago....

"If really so bad just take 1 panadol den slp lor.. Rem to drink lots of water and rest alot.. Just for today, dun study.. Get better den work hard again"

took a panadol.. collapsed and sinked into my bed.. cant stand it liaoz.. hahaha.. *drifts off to dreamland....

sianx sianx.. woke up with a damn loud + painful cough.. well.. if u r wondering how can cough be painful.. u can always exchange ur health wif mine.. wah.. damn sianx.. hmm.. maybe takin 3,4 panadols more.. i mean.. scarly ltr get high ar.. oso not bad.. hahaha.. oopx.. =X hahaha.. dat time 7.. n sick shd be lesser ba.. hahaha.. sianx.. miss clubbing lor.. hahaha.. ppl always say clubbing not gd.. cuz those ppl either nv go b4 or go to places like sparks where the ppl a bit.. more "daring" ba.. hahaha.. cannot anyhow say.. cuz my bro sumtimes go there too.. ltr he c whack me ar.. hahaa.. bt he always gimme free drinks coupons for other clubs.. like chinablack.. hehez.. thanx bro..

sianx.. a bit giddy leh.. how ar? haiz.. sianx sianx.. *cough*

h.p 3

mood:
weather:
song now:

Somewhere out there

sianx.. today suppose to slack a while.. den go meet a fren.. and her frens.. den go watch harry potter.. bt laz min she ps me.. arghh.. damn..

den today.. oso suppose to go send a fren off.. den she kept insisting cannot.. wad fam n stuffs lar.. wad sure qn lar.. nv bring hp lar.. blah blah.. kaoz.. dun go lar? fine! juz wasted my paper ink + $$ only wad.. not like i'm not going to ben ben hse stay.. yay.. p.m again.. songx bo?

reach quite late.. martin cant stay, chante ps.. so dat means.. project work group! hahaha.. wadeva.. yay heh..

but still damn sianx.. my plan all foiled.. damn..

Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight

Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

troubled

mood: sianx
weather: cold.. *cough*
song now: somewhere out there..

And loving me tonite..

so sian diao.. wad shd i do?

troubled

wad i can do to make her tink i'm serious n not wasting my time, yet not totally so desperate n its juz another hobby of mine? hmm.. so difficult rite? but datz juz so the case.. so bored..

tmr.. too turned off.. wtf r u tinking.. its only 20-30 mins ride.. and i only wanted to ask you a few qns and pass u sth.. datz all.. u are s.o d.a.m.n d.u.m.b... feel like stuffin sth in your mouth to make u shuddap.. like my hand or sth.. ;p u r so dumb.. den summore so scared ma fan.. sianx.. ;p

maybe got p.m tmr.. c first.. haiz.. y haven i got the foto yet? u liar! damn. y r u so sure four days after we can still be like we are four days b4? damn.. so wanted to tel u.. but cant bear to.. let me suffer alone ba.. den after a while.. i'll go on.. with or without you.. i dun care anymore.. but one thing for sure.. wo hui xiang ni de.. hope these days.. i can be happier ba.. sum1 to console me ba..

if c................................... can console me jiu hao le.. sianx.. say of her.. dunno y tink of the frenship band dat juz broke.. it had been on my leg since sec3.. now den break.. haiz..

so bored.. so troubled.. yet no one i can tok to.. sianx..

cough cough

mood:
weather:
song now:

someone's thinking of me

my cough nv gona heal..

sch.. cafe.. slp.. upper cafe.. mug.. lt1.. mug.. break.. cafe.. skittles.. lt1.. mug.. off.. ben hse.. cute chick-en rice.. no lan.. ben hse.. slack.. pool.. com.. frenster.. bed.. pool.. harry potter book.. slept.. pool.. out.. 961.. ky.. causeway.. shop.. comics connection.. world of sports.. bk.. 965.. northpoint.. hm.. online.. monopoly.. kiap.. receive sms.. cried.. chatted.. blog....

shall be a little diff today.. haiz.. copy my fren blog..

todayy.. ate ke ai ji.. milo.. bk.. coke.. hm? two 1.5litres coke.. chocs sweets.. overly sad.. tears.. sorries.. decision makin.. now i c y my cough lydat.. haiz.. sianx.. and i'm gona make it worse tmr.. c if my voice can totally disappear..

ur pt of view

mood:
weather:
song now:

someone's thinking of me..

so sad.. didnt tink of it in another point of view.. and by gettin dis perspective.. its worth the tear.. but.. y now den show me this point of view? isnt it a bit too late? and dis point of view sucks.. cuz in MY point of view.. UR point of view doesnt work.. cuz by lessening the degree to lengthen the years.. might end up going lesser than the very startin stage and oso everythin may juz disappear in a flick of an eye.. *poof..

been msg-ing dis fren of mine.. and she managed to strike on the topic i've been avoiding for as much as i can.. and when i finally confronted it.. realize so many wrong perspectives i've been having.. and the absence of respect i haf in ur choice.. the stubborn side of me triumphs.. and this reign blinds me from rational decisions and actions.. and resulting in greater dismay n eventually.. a decision to finally let go.. if i wasnt so stubborn.. if i wasnt so bend on wanting u.. if i wasnt me.. maybe things will get beta.. meetin u, getting closer 2 u, findin myself liking u unknowingly, trying to make u the one to share my joy n sorrow, trying to get us out of the fix, trying to respect ur decision.. if i nv did.. things will be diff.. i durnoe wad i can say.. but.. i'm gona say sth dat i tink most prob the first n laz time i'll be sayin dat to you.. dis time its for real.. no more bluffings.. no more trickery..

i love you

i really do.. i tot i will only feel dis way after we are tog.. but.. i durnoe.. shd be going on my journey now.. well.. seems like.. i'm going on.. w/o my rib-bone ba.. but.. its juz another bone.. can live w/o it.. ya.. kinda ke xi.. now den i c ur point of view.. obstinate mole only c things he like to c u noe.. yea.. can i hug u one more time?

can u be my dearx for one more time? =/

physics

mood:
weather:
song now:

beneath the pale moonlight

damn.. havent eaten my dinner yet.. nvm.. can - fats..

sianx.. today ar.. woke up so damn early.. cuz hafta long bang my dad's car to sch.. yea.. datz wad happen if u dun haf a license.. haiz.. trouble ppl trouble myself.. gotta get a bike soon..

reach sch.. saw sum j1s happily going for sum fun stuffs i suppose.. and rem.. it was so fun laz time.. no worries bout studies.. bout frenz bonds.. bout fitness n ns.. bout appearances.. bout gals.. bout world affairs.. bout family.. haiz.. honeymoon year.. really mized laz nite? den sat down n mugged.. physics.. almost finishing liaoz.. found out dat it was quite easy.. thank god i didnt drop.. tmr maybe startin on chem.. hahaha.. sianx.. mugger in evolution..

den a fren came.. and two.. and in total.. in cafe.. 5.. erm.. i tot s74 really so hopeless.. den saw most of them in lt1.. whew.. hahaha.. letz make roland lee proud.. hahahaz.. decided to fa fen liaoz.. played a bit of hockey.. i miz hockey! i can nv play on dat field of so many shared memories anymore.. the sprayin water.. the laughter.. the match.. the thrill.. the joy of going past sum1.. making a gd pass.. giving a standard hit.. i can experience dat no more.. so many memories.. with the hoc pplz.. tho crude n obscene.. but guez it'll be stuck in my head foreva ba.. sorrie i couldn't join u all in the comp.. wld love to.. but well.. i wasnt given the chance to.. too bad.. wld love to fly n enjoy with all of u guys in the pitch.. adrean, jingfeng, bok, paul, julian, kevin, thinesh, and others.. only named sum i really miz.. really had gr8 fun.. at least.. we were tog on the field once.. really.. the jersey (non-sch) wld always be my treasure..

listened to sum gr8 teaching of mr always-so-kind roland lee.. i tot my sec sch physics was gd.. till i met him.. one of a kind teacher.. who really uds us.. for those who drop physics.. u dropped a gr8 teacher too.. maybe he'll be the only teacher i'll rem and visit years after..

went to eat at a.v.. well.. tink straight ------ not ^-v-^-v.. alexandra village.. den all went separate ways.. den me fund n julian went to mug with yuhan n xuan zhi.. well.. not really effective.. bt still ok.. at least i've got "teachers" for free.. yea.. only the laz part bout the wave of light a bit blur.. hahaha.. datz all.. so sianx.. nv did try the fifa on the n-gauge.. sianx.. xz left at 4.30.. julian n fund at 6+.. a while ltr i left too.. yuhan got hoc.. yea.. so today basicallly lydat..

den.. went hm.. pia watch harry potter epi 1 (part2) mized the quidditch match.. sian.. den watched the rest.. sianx. haven watch the 3rd.. prisoner of azkaban.. how.. many ppl sure watch liaoz.. who can pei me watch?? haiz..

and wow.. i didnt noe hp got auto-roaming.. damn.. msg a fren who's currently in hk.. she replied?!? hahaha.. gave me a shock.. coming back tmr nite 10+pm.. so late.. dun go le lar.. actually i wana go but only me a bit weird oso.. cuz others all dowan come.. haiz.. nvm.. can c her other days.. must get my.... hahaha.. sianx.. i cant stop tinkin bout the survey.. the one i did yesterday.. y so zun?

sumwhere out there

mood: ok..
weather: cold.. *cough*sniff*
song now: somewhere out there - "american tail"

somewhere out there..

damn.. didnt really studied.. always cuz of my bro.. i know i shdn't find excuses.. but hey.. no! he wanted to use the com in my room.. and dun let me enter.. well he can only use the com for the weekend.. so i hafta give in.. sianx.. den when i was about to start work.. a gd fren told me got harry potter.. well.. there goes..

den now.. went to friendster.. and did a silly survey.. and the results.. left me stunned there.. i'm like.. wtf happen? did anyone juz penetrate my mind?

here goes:

(above are sum qns askin to write names n nos n songs down..)

1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people
about this game.
2. The person in space 3 is the one that you
love.
3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't
work
out.
4. You care most about the person you put in 4.
5. The person you name in number 5 is the one
who
knows you very well.
6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star.
7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with
the person in number 3.
8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in
7.
9. The tenth space is the song that tells you
most about YOUR mind.
10. and 11 is the song telling you how you feel
about life

my ans:
1. 5
2. 7
3. (sum1 larz..)
4. (sum1 oso.. but..)
5. Kayan
6. Francis
7. (sum1 again..)
8. God must have spent a little more time on you -n'sync
9. This i promise -n'sync
10. somewhere out there -linda ronstadt
11. life -des'ree

dis totally freaked me out.. seriously.. *cold sweat*

sianx.. go study for bout half an hr den go slp le ba.. tmr still got sch.. go sch early too.. hahaha.. ;p

new line?

mood: sianx
weather: coolin? (raining lately.. weird?)
song now: this i promise you

Till the day my life is through

yay! my fren coming back soon.. hahaha..

tmr got physics.. so oso cant really slack too much today.. after 2.30 shall start mugging.. after dat lame taiwan tv show.. hahaha..

sianx.. hmm.. maybe i using my bro line liaoz.. cuz he signing for a new phone.. den his current line is the starhub plan dat i wanted.. yea.. hahaha.. but.. if i change my no. wld hafta tell so many ppl lar? haiz.. sianx.. actually durnoe oso.. cuz they wldn't prob find out.. i mean.. check out my hp.. whole day only 2,3 ppl msg me first.. so.. yea.. hahaha.. nvm larz.. change le oso no big diff to other ppl.. yea.. sianx..

den my hp seem to be workin liaoz.. but hor.. haiz.. no diff larz.. i oso changing line soon.. hahaha.. sianx.. today.. as i wana really start mugging today.. ah boy called..

"eh.. wa wu ho kang tao ai mai? teng bai yi eh restaurant bo gao lang.. ai kh mai? sio xiang lat koh cyt diam jeng.. on boh?"

damn

lucrative manx.. den i was tinking.. 1pm to 9pm.. 8 x $6 = $48.. haiz.. such lucrative offer.. opportunity cost = mugging (which i dun like..) plus the board shorts i like soooo much.. $75.. damn.. the yes slowly float to my lips..

"mai lar.. lim bei ai tat cek.. bei bu kbkb liao lar.. cyt bai bo tat wa jiu eng wan mian tat liao lar.. jiu eh sai eng wan kh yi beng zo bo liao.. mai lar.. gim li buey sai.. goh wu zi guan ho kang tao den ka hor wa lor.. paiseh ar.."

"wa li steady bor? ok lar.. buey yao gin lar.. ho ho tat cek.. mai jiat zua hor.. bye"

i rejected dat? haiz.. my money$$.. so did i do the rite thing? damn.. plz dun say no.. i wana bang my head on the wall liaoz.. i shd go work one la.. alleviate my parents burden.. how how? sianx..

no one wana msg me

mood: sianx
weather: coolin
song now: ride with me - nelly

wth?

haiz.. sianx.. hp still not ok.. anw.. for ppl who msg me.. paiseh horz.. i cant reply.. but.. thanx anw.. sianx.. isit i dun start msg-ing den no one will actually wanna msg me? hmm.. shd be.. :/

today.. went out with ky & yuki to jurong to swim n haf fun.. haiz.. not many chiobus.. so man beethovens n juliets.. sianx.. there are sum.. but.. well.. u noe we 3 all not buaya..den nv go approach liaoz.. hahaha.. yay.. i got tanned.. not like i'm not oreadi.. but at least this time my body is tanned too! and the oreadi tanned parts oso not so affected.. so its kinda gd.. no sun day is a gd day.. hahaha.. tink the other two wld beg to differ.. my one changed to 2 laz year.. and i'm kinda glad its turning to four.. hahaha.. shall work hard.. make it eight.. quite impossible.. haaha.. sianx..

went yuki hse wax hair.. den go jurong point eat mac student meal.. sianx.. y no chiobu..? haiz.. oh.. tt bus driver.. so bitch lar? dun wana stop n drove off.. hey.. datz a bad bus driver u noe.. hahaha.. den took another bus.. suan le.. u gd.. make us reach jp slower.. haiz.. den on the way hm..

halfway my mum called.. asked if i can help to carry sth heavy.. and mind you.. its damn heavy lar? need to mobilise dad me n bro who came back frm ns? haiz.. wa kaoz.. diz the sad part.. after we put it on the van.. den ar.. i cut myself accidentally! den summore rusting lar? den i so scared po shang feng.. but say dunid wash.. den bro ask me go wash.. after washin.. come back...
dad:"eh.. yao si le mei you? nan hai zi so gu niang.."
mum:"kuai dian lar.. ni ge ge yao chi dao le.."den went to tok to my bro on his so-exciting ns stories..
bro juz shrugged his shoulders..

damn

so i'm juz a mere free slave yea? den saw i got another cut.. but oso too sian diao to go wash.. die die lor.. kaoz.. infected infected lor? tink wad? the blood coming out i fake ketchup one ar? haiz.. suan le..

at hm.. oso cant tok to them.. end up bickering.. yea.. haiz.. so here.. at least the com wun scold, kb, tok back to me, insult me... grrr... -_-#

this morning.. i tot i heard an explosion.. boom! den broooom for a long while.. and in this long while.. abt 10s.. i tot terror attack.. den three persons come to my mind..

1 - because her hse is in that direction.. and i only managed to contact her recently.. tot she might die.. and i felt so sad..

2 - so because of the memories.. and the recent talks to show i've not lost her as a fren.. and i tot i'm gona be gone.. with the beautiful fairytale..

3 - well.. i duno y.. but.. juz so afraid of going to another world.. i'm scared i cant c you again.. so scared.. suddenly.. in <1s.. i've got so many things to tell you which i haven.. i'm really afraid of not being to c you anymore.. can i? can i? plz.. heaven.. gimme more time.. gimme eternity.. lemme at least hug her for the laz time..

well.. all these above are wad i tot at that moment.. so plz regard dat as bullshit.. but.. well.. juz wana write it down.. sianx.. my parents so kb.. gona move out soon.. find sum cheap place to rent.. hmm.. any intro?

hp lousy

mood:
weather:
song now:



^^^^*?*^^^ damn?? hp spoilt.. how? ^^^*?*^^^^

sianx.. so tired.. yesterday.. apologized to dis gal whom i used sum stupid words on.. haiz..

sorrie?

econs lect.. a lect which i almost finish my physics topic 26 nuclear physicx.. haiz.. den pon halfway.. too sianx.. with ky yuki julian.. den saw three other naughty ponners oso.. hockey pplz.. haiz.. jialat manx.. ;p

den went shoppin with ky n yuki.. pacific plaza.. chinablack.. hahaha.. not shop there lar.. went to ripcurl.. wa.. den there's this board shorts so chio.. must buy one.. and another shirt that can go very nice along with jeans.. and another very nice casual shirt.. haiz.. money money $$? yuki bought one.. haiz.. my only board shorts oso dunnoe go where liaoz.. sianx..

den went hm a while.. den went to chante hsee.. hahaha.. quite fun larz.. notice i dun say everyone hse is fun.. hahaha.. his hse.. first thing inside.. karaoke.. vincent, fen ni, fer, fund.. hahaha.. den sing until so X_X i oso durnoe wad to say liaoz.. den vincent sang like jay 85% match (??!) impossible? hahaha.. den team a n team b.. got this song ar.. fer n chante sang like shit.. so everyone was expectin like.. 25% den score come out 81% alike.. lao tian mei yan? haaa... lost 23 points.. not bad.. considerin ALAN is the one singing.. of all ppl.. haha.. den minimum score 78 summore.. hahaha.. hey fund.. we're not bad too k..

den went eat prata in wee hrs.. hahaha.. i ate murtabak.. (dnno how to spell larx?) den they ate pratas.. den nice chante bought chicken curry.. so nice, so tender.. den ate finish.. went to explore.. went to sum ulu place behind.. so many dogs barking.. sum not locked! i tot they wana chiong out liaoz.. but nv lar? den fer n chante cycle.. me n fund run.. hahaha.. evil.. explore quite long b4 reach hm.. played bridge.. went to bedroom.. den in the bedroom.. bond ar? fer got bond.. hahaha.. everytime i use hp to light up a bit fer is in different bond-ing position.. hahaha... too dark.. den my chest n face kana zam by whoeva-dat-is.. hahaa.. den go slp.. 3+ near 4.. damn?

woke up.. 12+.. well.. there goes econs? read comics b4 fer n chante bought breakfast back and cycle finish the more of the ulu place.. hahaha.. ate it.. a bit monopoly.. bus 858.. hm..

wa.. today cant study liaoz.. sianz.. nvm.. slack another day.. haiz..

hp spoilt?????!!!!!!

ppl.. got anythin call my hse phone k? my hp cannot send msg.. durnoe can call anot.. sianx.. but still.. no one called yet.. so its like.. spoilt not spoilt no difference.. haiz.. how to contact other ppl lydat.. dis morn receive a msg oso dunoe how to reply.. sianx.. how how? sian 1/2.. so sianx now.. sum1 call my hse n tok to me leh?? :'(

(added on 5.42)

there's dis sum1.. who kept appearing on my mind now.. haiz.. so regret.. of things i've done.. or haf not done.. haiz.. sorry to break my promise.. but can u let me off by stop penetratin my train of tots? haiz.. when will i c u again?

irritatin

mood:
weather:
song now:



dun f***ing piz me off k?

damn irritating one lar.. always hated ppl for breaking promises one.. now further confirmed it.. at most i dun go lar? fine? F*** off lar.. u always lydat one.. den oso dowana ask y i'm angry.. juz act innocent.. wishin for me to cool off on my own w/o explaining anythin.. no.. u DUN need to explain oso.. there's nth to explain.. its purely MY fault..

whew.. juz talked to one of my fren.. den she say wad dun be angry n stuffs.. juz at most dun talk to her lor.. well.. gd point.. dunno if she is trying to be evil (;p) but.. yea.. she jz convinced me its bad for my health.. aggravate me only.. but hor.. u damn stupid one lor.. always lydat.. buey tahan.. oso lan de gen ni jiang le.. cuz u wun ask anyway..

haiz.. qi si wo le...

chinablack.. y nv go..

mood:
weather:
song now:



yesterday.. mugged quite a lot.. hahaha.. den super late slept.. haiz.. den a fren of mine called me.. saying how fun chinablack is.. how she had fun.. kaoz.. i shd haf went.. why am i studying here.. wad gd will it do me rite? but.. haiz.. ji ran da ying hui hao hao du shu.. jiu bu nen shi yan.. so many ppl tellin me to work hard liaoz.. cant let them down.. hope my bt2 results can be satisfying ba.. haiz.. today wanted two finish up two major topics one.. but no mood to study.. cough gettin worse.. but recovered from fever and flu liaoz.. shd be a blessing ba.. haaha..

thanx yinxian for leaving a note.. cuz u noe i cant really reply there.. ya.. so reply here.. hope ur common test get gd scores.. its gd to enjoy ur hols.. but MUST rem to study k? dun be like me.. now den catchin up.. too late liaoz.. hahaha.. jia you.. and for whoeva that anonymous is.. sorrie but if there's no name attached den i wld hafta delete it.. next time leave ur name ba.. thanx..

haiz.. i wanted to.. but its so hard.. but i will.. sumtimes i sit down and ask myself wth m i doing this..? and each time i haf no reply.. only a not-so-ans ans.. cuz zhi jue ask me to do this.. and this reason is sufficient.. sumtimes i wonder.. if one knows wad i m doing? how much i've been running.. but den again.. i m the devil.. i need no one's understanding..

or do i? or i shd simply cont with it?

been ransackin my cd rack for three cds for continuous playin while i spam books.. den realize sth.. my one and only original cd.. ayumi hamasaki's album gone.. the album "i am".. haiz.. den took 3 burn cds.. my "music diary 2nd".. my S.H.E the tropical rainforest one.. and lastly my sun yan zi "start" album.. haiz.. my fren took back.. the very first sun yan zi album.. soooo nice.. tink he wun lend me anymore..

*sad*

nvm.. at most dun listen lorz.. haiz.. i wan dat cd... sianz.. lazy to find.. broke to buy.. dammit.. gtg buy sum original cd soon.. or else rack no original cds.. very malu-ed one.. hahaha.. ;?